if you scream bloody mary in your mirror at 3am
your mum’s going to wake up and tell you to shut the fuck up
(via sanctalilium)
- me: closes wrong tab
- me: PTERODACTYL NOISE
this girl who rode my bus once came up to me and was like “oh my god dont get offended or anything but are you GAAAAAAAAAAY?!” and i was like yeah and then she was like “OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO HANG OUT AND GO SHOPPING” and i was like “dont get offended or anything but are you ASIAN?!” and she was like “omg yeah im filipino” and i was like “OH MY GOD WE HAVE TO MAKE SPRING ROLLS AT YOUR HOUSE SOME TIME” and she never talked to me again
(via senshirou)
*Muffling laughter*my mom once told me there are 40 year old men out on the internet pretending to be 16 year old girls just to kidnap and rape me
she never told me about the 16 year old girls who want to kidnap and rape 40 year old men
(Source: lookingforcastiel)
- everyone: you're so quiet
- me: i'm not quiet i just don't fucking like you
